i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Randomize
