At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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