My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize