The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
