Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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