I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
