Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
