Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
