I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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