I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Panties = found
Randomize
