Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
