I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
