I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
