her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The air was thick with penises
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
