I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
