You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize