Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If I die, sorry about rent.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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