So drunk its hurt
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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