I'm really into asian looking animals
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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