Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
