I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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