She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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