he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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