Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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