what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
