IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
