Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize