He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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