So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
