I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
