Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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