dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
