How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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