well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
