Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
