WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
