Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
