is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish i was in the wii world.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
