..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
