Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
