I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
