there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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