he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
