I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
