Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
