She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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