The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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