i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
