Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
