you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
