I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
