Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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