Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dicks are not precious.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
