At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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