nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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