And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
