a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I woke up under a house in Key West
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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