I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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