did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
