Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
