Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
one might say we're banned from that church
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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