If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
