he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
