ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
