it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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