pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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