He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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