On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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